WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:21.500 🎵 00:25.400 --> 00:27.800 Doctor! Doctor! Help me! I'm choking! 00:28.100 --> 00:29.300 I'm strangulating! 00:29.300 --> 00:31.900 Give me some oxygen! Oxygen! Never mind the expense! 00:32.100 --> 00:34.500 Now, now, Raleigh, it's not as bad as all that. Take it easy! 00:34.700 --> 00:36.000 Now go ahead and take a deep breath. 00:36.900 --> 00:38.600 There, you see? You can breathe all right. 00:38.800 --> 00:41.200 I don't know. I didn't feel any air go down into my lungs. 00:41.600 --> 00:42.800 I got a hole in my neck. 00:43.000 --> 00:44.100 Yes, your mouth. 00:44.300 --> 00:46.000 Now relax and tell me what happened. 00:46.200 --> 00:48.000 I swallowed a fish and it stabbed me. 00:48.700 --> 00:49.500 Is that all? 00:49.700 --> 00:50.500 A little fish bone. 00:50.700 --> 00:53.900 A little fish bone. I got a hole thin in my throat with part of the runner. 00:54.300 --> 00:57.200 I can't get any air through my gills. Give me some oxygen. 00:57.200 --> 00:59.700 Now wait a minute, Raleigh. Open your mouth. Do you want me to help you? Let me see. 01:00.000 --> 01:00.700 Say ah! 01:00.900 --> 01:01.400 Ah! 01:01.600 --> 01:02.100 Oh! 01:02.300 --> 01:03.900 Now he's trying to go upstream. 01:04.600 --> 01:05.800 I need that bone. 01:06.000 --> 01:08.400 I can't. That bone must be a yard long. 01:08.900 --> 01:10.400 It hurts me worse when I'm sitting. 01:10.600 --> 01:12.000 Now, Raleigh, relax. 01:12.200 --> 01:13.700 There's no bone lodged in your throat. 01:13.900 --> 01:16.800 Although it did leave a slight scratch, but it'll be all right in a few hours. 01:17.200 --> 01:18.000 A slight scratch? 01:18.200 --> 01:18.700 Yes. 01:19.000 --> 01:20.800 Oh. Oh, is that all? 01:21.000 --> 01:21.500 Yes. 01:21.700 --> 01:24.300 Well, I guess I'll go back and finish the fish. 01:24.300 --> 01:27.500 They don't give you any rebate at that lunchroom for what you leave on your plate. 01:27.700 --> 01:29.300 Uh, what do I owe you, sir? 01:29.500 --> 01:30.000 Nothing. 01:30.200 --> 01:32.200 This is on the Stephens and Aircraft Company. 01:32.800 --> 01:34.300 Gee, that's a good deal. 01:34.600 --> 01:36.800 I gotta get sick more often if it's on the cuff. 01:37.000 --> 01:38.000 Well, thanks a lot, sir. 01:38.200 --> 01:38.900 Just a minute, Raleigh. 01:39.200 --> 01:42.000 You seem to have a condition much more serious than a fish bone. 01:42.300 --> 01:42.800 I have? 01:43.000 --> 01:43.500 Yeah. 01:43.600 --> 01:44.400 Open your mouth again. 01:44.600 --> 01:45.400 A chicken bone? 01:45.600 --> 01:47.000 No. Open your mouth again. 01:47.400 --> 01:47.900 Say ah! 01:48.200 --> 01:48.700 Ah! 01:48.900 --> 01:49.400 Quieter. 01:49.600 --> 01:50.100 Ah! 01:50.400 --> 01:50.900 Hmm. 01:52.100 --> 01:53.400 Mm-hmm. 01:53.400 --> 01:54.200 Hmm. 01:55.600 --> 01:56.400 Is that serious? 01:56.600 --> 01:58.100 Well, not too serious. 01:58.300 --> 02:00.000 That is, if you have them out right away. 02:00.800 --> 02:01.600 Have them out? 02:02.100 --> 02:04.400 How can you see my appendix from way up here? 02:04.900 --> 02:06.300 Not your appendix, Raleigh. 02:06.500 --> 02:07.600 Your tonsils. 02:07.900 --> 02:08.700 Oh, my tonsils. 02:08.800 --> 02:09.300 Certainly. 02:09.500 --> 02:12.100 Well, I don't think I'll bother about having them taken out. 02:12.300 --> 02:13.900 I've had my tonsils since I was a kid. 02:14.000 --> 02:14.900 They're sort of attached to them. 02:15.000 --> 02:16.000 Now, just a minute, Raleigh. 02:16.200 --> 02:18.300 If you don't have those tonsils out right away, 02:18.500 --> 02:19.800 something serious may develop. 02:20.700 --> 02:21.300 Serious? 02:21.300 --> 02:22.500 Yeah, on the level. 02:23.800 --> 02:24.800 Otitis media? 02:25.500 --> 02:26.400 Septicemia? 02:26.700 --> 02:27.500 Rheumatic? 02:27.900 --> 02:28.700 Endocarditis? 02:29.200 --> 02:29.800 Quincy? 02:30.000 --> 02:30.500 Quincy. 02:30.700 --> 02:31.200 Yeah. 02:31.400 --> 02:33.400 So, you see, an operation is really necessary. 02:34.000 --> 02:34.700 An operation? 02:34.800 --> 02:35.300 Yeah. 02:35.400 --> 02:36.800 But, doc, couldn't I cure it myself? 02:37.000 --> 02:38.200 Oh, certainly not. 02:38.400 --> 02:40.400 Maybe if I read that book, the Quincy Report. 02:40.800 --> 02:41.800 Now, look, Raleigh. 02:42.200 --> 02:44.700 In your case, an operation is specifically indicated. 02:45.300 --> 02:46.300 But an operation? 02:47.400 --> 02:49.400 Maybe I could wait till I got ripe and dropped off. 02:49.600 --> 02:50.600 Oh, stop it. 02:50.600 --> 02:52.400 Oh, stop acting like an infant. 02:52.900 --> 02:55.600 Why, a tonsillectomy is as simple as ABC. 02:55.900 --> 02:56.800 There's nothing to it. 02:57.100 --> 02:59.100 We just take a small instrument about, uh, 02:59.600 --> 03:00.800 oh, no larger than this. 03:01.200 --> 03:01.800 You see? 03:02.000 --> 03:03.200 And snip, snip, and they're out. 03:03.600 --> 03:05.200 I'll make a reservation for you at the hospital. 03:05.300 --> 03:06.500 Okay, let's say next year. 03:06.600 --> 03:07.900 No, tomorrow. 03:08.300 --> 03:11.000 Raleigh, those tonsils must come out. 03:12.000 --> 03:13.000 Hello, dear. 03:13.200 --> 03:13.900 Hello, Dumpling. 03:14.000 --> 03:15.000 You're up late tonight. 03:15.100 --> 03:15.500 Hello, Pop. 03:15.600 --> 03:16.300 Hello, Daddy. 03:16.600 --> 03:17.400 Hello, children. 03:17.700 --> 03:19.600 I hope you're hungry. I just fixed the most delicious... 03:19.600 --> 03:20.600 Raleigh, what's the matter? 03:20.800 --> 03:22.600 I can tell by your face, something's wrong. 03:22.800 --> 03:23.800 Nothing's wrong. 03:24.000 --> 03:24.800 Everything's great. 03:24.900 --> 03:25.900 Daddy, what is it? 03:26.100 --> 03:27.100 Tell me, dear. 03:27.300 --> 03:28.100 It's really nothing. 03:28.200 --> 03:29.600 I'd rather not even talk about it. 03:30.000 --> 03:31.000 I'd rather suffer. 03:31.500 --> 03:32.400 Suffer in silence. 03:32.500 --> 03:33.800 Oh, Raleigh, tell me, what is it? 03:34.200 --> 03:36.000 Peg, I'm a sick man. 03:36.100 --> 03:37.100 Oh, no, darling. 03:37.900 --> 03:39.100 Daddy, oh, Daddy. 03:39.200 --> 03:40.600 Oh, gee, Pop, you better sit down. 03:41.400 --> 03:43.300 Peg, help me over to the chair. 03:43.500 --> 03:45.600 Oh, my sweet darling, of course I will. 03:48.200 --> 03:49.200 Here's a pillow, Pop. 03:49.200 --> 03:50.200 Thanks, Julie. 03:50.300 --> 03:51.900 Daddy, shall I put on your slippers? 03:52.000 --> 03:54.500 Okay, but I think you'll find them a little too large for you. 03:54.600 --> 03:55.900 Oh, sweetheart, what happened? 03:56.000 --> 03:56.900 I can't stand. 03:57.100 --> 03:58.900 I saw the doctor today where I work. 03:59.000 --> 04:00.300 The doctor? About what? 04:02.100 --> 04:04.100 Peg, you've got to be brave. 04:04.300 --> 04:05.700 Prepare yourself for a shock. 04:05.800 --> 04:07.100 Oh, sweetheart, what is it? 04:07.300 --> 04:08.300 A lot of things. 04:08.900 --> 04:11.100 Coditis, end of the carditis, 04:11.500 --> 04:13.700 and September Santa Anita. 04:13.900 --> 04:14.900 Oh, Raleigh. 04:15.000 --> 04:16.000 Oh, Raleigh. 04:16.000 --> 04:18.600 That's what I'll get if I don't have my tonsils taken out. 04:19.200 --> 04:20.200 Tonsils? 04:20.300 --> 04:23.300 Oh, dear, yes, please. 04:23.400 --> 04:25.400 Oh, Pop, I thought you were going to keep the pocket. 04:25.500 --> 04:27.100 You don't have to be so disappointed. 04:27.200 --> 04:30.300 Oh, I'm a sick man, a very sick man. 04:30.400 --> 04:33.600 My life is hanging by a thread, one tug a night. 04:34.500 --> 04:35.500 But I can take it. 04:35.600 --> 04:37.200 I've lived a good, clean life. 04:37.300 --> 04:38.700 And if I have to go, well... 04:38.800 --> 04:39.800 Tonsils! 04:41.300 --> 04:43.100 I'm certainly glad everybody's glad. 04:43.200 --> 04:44.900 I'm glad my life's not a mess. 04:44.900 --> 04:46.900 I'm glad my tonsils tickle you. 04:47.000 --> 04:50.400 I'm sorry, dear, but there's nothing to a tonsil operation. 04:50.500 --> 04:52.200 There's nothing to it, she says. 04:52.300 --> 04:54.000 They're going to slip my throat from ear to ear 04:54.100 --> 04:55.200 and rip out my tonsils, 04:55.300 --> 04:57.000 and she says there's nothing to it. 04:57.100 --> 04:59.100 Oh, Pop, they may not even cut your tonsils out. 04:59.200 --> 05:00.800 They may burn them out like a kid at school. 05:00.900 --> 05:01.900 Burn them out? 05:02.000 --> 05:02.800 There's nothing to it. 05:02.900 --> 05:04.800 Nobody's shoving a blowtorch down my throat. 05:04.900 --> 05:06.200 Oh, it's a simple operation. 05:06.300 --> 05:07.300 You won't even feel it. 05:07.400 --> 05:08.600 You can say that again, 05:08.700 --> 05:10.200 because I ain't even going to the hospital. 05:10.300 --> 05:13.000 Oh, Patty, it's an absolutely minor operation. 05:13.000 --> 05:16.000 Of course, be sensible. If your tonsils have to go, they have to go. 05:16.100 --> 05:17.900 Yeah, but I don't want to go with them. 05:18.000 --> 05:20.800 You have such exaggerating things in your mind. 05:20.900 --> 05:22.900 Gee, Pop, I never thought you'd be a coward. 05:23.000 --> 05:24.000 A coward? 05:25.500 --> 05:27.500 I am not a coward. 05:27.600 --> 05:29.200 I'm just scared. 05:29.300 --> 05:32.500 I mean, a few kids and your mother. 05:32.600 --> 05:35.100 Here you are all alone, and tomorrow... 05:35.200 --> 05:36.700 Tomorrow? 05:36.800 --> 05:38.700 Tomorrow I go to the hospital. 05:38.800 --> 05:41.400 Well, cheer up, Pop. We'll get along without you. 05:41.500 --> 05:42.500 What? 05:42.500 --> 05:43.500 You're right. 05:43.600 --> 05:44.600 See you come home. 05:44.700 --> 05:47.300 Don't worry about us, dear. We'll be all right. 05:47.400 --> 05:51.000 Well, that makes me feel a little better. 05:51.100 --> 05:54.100 Gee, you ought to know by now that I'm no coward. 05:54.200 --> 05:56.400 I'm not afraid of anything or anybody. 05:56.500 --> 05:58.100 Don't you remember that time at Ebbets Field 05:58.200 --> 06:00.900 when that six-foot umpire got the licking of his life? 06:01.000 --> 06:03.200 I was one of the twelve guys that gave it to him. 06:03.300 --> 06:04.800 Sure, Pop, I'm sorry. 06:04.900 --> 06:06.100 You're no coward. 06:06.200 --> 06:07.000 Huh. 06:07.100 --> 06:09.500 After all, what's a tonsil operation, anyway? 06:09.600 --> 06:11.400 The doctor explained exactly how they do. 06:11.400 --> 06:12.500 Of course, they do them every day. 06:12.600 --> 06:14.100 Dozens of them. There's nothing to it. 06:14.200 --> 06:15.100 It's a cinch. 06:15.200 --> 06:16.700 All they do is they take a knife. 06:16.800 --> 06:18.200 It's about as big as... 06:18.300 --> 06:20.000 Well, it's about from... 06:20.100 --> 06:21.900 It's about... 06:22.000 --> 06:25.500 It's about from here to where Junior's standing. 06:25.600 --> 06:27.900 And they shove it down my throat. 06:28.000 --> 06:29.800 And they chop. 06:29.900 --> 06:31.500 And they chop. 06:31.600 --> 06:33.200 And they hurl. 06:33.300 --> 06:34.400 Hurl. 06:34.500 --> 06:35.600 Hurl. 06:35.700 --> 06:36.600 Hurl. 06:36.700 --> 06:38.600 You say that's great, you little son of a gun! 06:38.700 --> 06:39.300 Pop! 06:39.300 --> 06:42.500 Riley! 06:42.600 --> 06:44.000 Oh, yes, Dr. Harvey. 06:44.100 --> 06:45.600 Hang up, Pop. 06:45.700 --> 06:47.300 Uh, yes, Doctor. 06:47.400 --> 06:48.800 Oh, he's fine. 06:48.900 --> 06:50.200 When? 06:50.300 --> 06:51.400 He'll be there. 06:51.500 --> 06:52.500 Thank you, Doctor. 06:52.600 --> 06:53.600 Goodbye. 06:53.700 --> 06:54.600 That was Dr. Harvey. 06:54.700 --> 06:57.100 Phone to say he'll operate at nine in the morning. 06:57.200 --> 06:58.600 I'm having that phone taken out. 06:58.700 --> 07:00.100 Now, don't start shooting again. 07:00.200 --> 07:02.000 The whole thing will be over before you know it. 07:02.100 --> 07:03.000 That's what I'm afraid of. 07:03.100 --> 07:04.900 When it's over, will I know it? 07:05.000 --> 07:06.500 Maybe I ought to see another doctor, Peg. 07:06.600 --> 07:08.000 One of those urge doctors. 07:08.000 --> 07:10.400 Look, Riley, you can't remove tonsils with urge. 07:10.500 --> 07:12.900 And the doctor's phone to your tonsils has got to come out. 07:13.000 --> 07:16.100 Sure, it's OK for him to say my tonsils have got to come out. 07:16.200 --> 07:17.600 I'm wise to them doctors. 07:17.700 --> 07:19.400 They think tonsils grow on trees. 07:19.500 --> 07:21.200 Well, why should he insist on an operation 07:21.300 --> 07:22.100 if it weren't necessary? 07:22.200 --> 07:23.300 You're not paying him. 07:23.400 --> 07:24.900 He gets the same salary from the plant 07:25.000 --> 07:26.600 whether he operates or not. 07:26.700 --> 07:27.900 That don't fool me. 07:28.000 --> 07:29.100 I know doctors. 07:29.200 --> 07:30.100 They love to operate. 07:30.200 --> 07:31.100 It's a disease with them. 07:31.200 --> 07:32.900 Oh, Shaddy, it's nothing. 07:33.000 --> 07:35.500 I had my tonsils taken out when I was only six. 07:35.600 --> 07:37.300 You were too young to know what you were doing. 07:37.300 --> 07:39.900 Listen, dear, you need to get your mind off of it for a while. 07:40.000 --> 07:42.500 Why don't you go over and gab a while with Jim Gillis? 07:42.600 --> 07:51.500 Why don't he answer? 07:55.000 --> 07:58.200 It's funny, his lights are on. 07:58.300 --> 08:00.000 Hey, Gillis! 08:00.100 --> 08:01.700 Oh, Gillis! 08:01.800 --> 08:02.700 Gillis! 08:02.800 --> 08:03.500 Yeah, Riley? 08:03.600 --> 08:04.500 Answer the phone. 08:04.600 --> 08:05.500 I want to talk to you. 08:05.600 --> 08:06.200 Go ahead. 08:06.300 --> 08:07.000 Talk. 08:07.000 --> 08:07.900 Listen, Gillis. 08:08.000 --> 08:08.900 Talk. 08:09.000 --> 08:10.600 What are you doing over here when you're 08:10.700 --> 08:11.900 supposed to be over there? 08:12.000 --> 08:13.900 Your lights were on, so I tried the door, so here I am. 08:14.000 --> 08:14.900 Hiya, pal. 08:15.000 --> 08:16.800 How's about a little game of gin rummy? 08:16.900 --> 08:19.000 Usual type stakes. 08:19.100 --> 08:19.600 I don't know. 08:19.700 --> 08:20.400 You're too lucky. 08:20.500 --> 08:21.400 Luck nothing. 08:21.500 --> 08:22.400 Science. 08:22.500 --> 08:23.400 Ten cents a game? 08:23.500 --> 08:25.400 OK, go ahead and deal. 08:25.500 --> 08:26.900 I already dealt. 08:27.000 --> 08:28.900 Those ain't fingernails you got in your hands, Dick. 08:29.000 --> 08:30.400 Ha! 08:30.500 --> 08:31.900 I go first. 08:32.000 --> 08:33.200 Hey! 08:33.300 --> 08:35.200 What happened to you down at the plant today? 08:35.200 --> 08:37.400 You went off the floor for lunch and never came back. 08:37.500 --> 08:39.000 Well, you see, it was like this. 08:39.100 --> 08:41.500 I had some trouble. 08:41.600 --> 08:42.700 My turn. 08:42.800 --> 08:44.100 I was worried about you. 08:44.200 --> 08:46.500 I didn't realize you was missing until suddenly the belt 08:46.600 --> 08:48.500 line started going faster. 08:48.600 --> 08:51.100 I had some terrible trouble. 08:51.200 --> 08:52.400 My turn. 08:52.500 --> 08:54.900 If Riley, my pal, is in trouble, then I couldn't stand. 08:55.000 --> 08:56.100 I know. 08:56.200 --> 08:57.300 You got fired. 08:57.400 --> 08:59.300 It was worse trouble than that. 08:59.400 --> 09:02.100 I got to go to the hospital tomorrow. 09:02.200 --> 09:03.700 My turn. 09:03.800 --> 09:04.200 Hospital? 09:04.200 --> 09:05.100 What? 09:05.200 --> 09:05.900 Hey! 09:06.000 --> 09:06.900 What's the trouble? 09:07.000 --> 09:08.100 There's nothing wrong with you, is there, pal? 09:08.200 --> 09:10.100 Or if there's anything wrong with you, you, my best friend, 09:10.200 --> 09:10.700 I'd... 09:10.800 --> 09:12.100 It's my tonsils. 09:12.200 --> 09:13.100 Tonsils? 09:13.200 --> 09:14.100 Is that all? 09:14.200 --> 09:16.100 Ain't that enough? 09:16.200 --> 09:17.600 My turn. 09:17.700 --> 09:20.600 You got a nerve aggravating me over a couple of measly tonsils. 09:20.700 --> 09:22.100 Ain't you got no consideration? 09:22.200 --> 09:23.100 It's easy for you to say. 09:23.200 --> 09:24.600 What do you know about it, Gillis? 09:24.700 --> 09:26.100 I know plenty about surgery. 09:26.200 --> 09:31.100 Why, the rain the day goes by, I don't read all the obituary columns. 09:31.200 --> 09:32.100 My turn. 09:32.200 --> 09:33.100 All right. 09:33.100 --> 09:35.000 Taking out tonsils is a cinch. 09:35.100 --> 09:36.000 There's nothing to it. 09:36.100 --> 09:38.500 Any good doctor can perform that operation blindfolded. 09:38.600 --> 09:40.000 Blindfolded, huh? 09:40.100 --> 09:44.000 Well, my doctor, if he wants to get paid, better take a peek. 09:44.100 --> 09:46.500 My turn. 09:46.600 --> 09:49.000 My hand don't seem to be getting any better. 09:49.100 --> 09:50.500 You're in bad shape, rather. 09:50.600 --> 09:51.500 Scared stiff. 09:51.600 --> 09:52.500 Now, why don't you relax? 09:52.600 --> 09:54.000 There's nothing to it. 09:54.100 --> 09:55.500 Oh, what do you know about it? 09:55.600 --> 09:57.500 Have you ever had your tonsils taken out? 09:57.600 --> 10:00.500 No, but believe me, I'd be glad to if I ever had the opportunity. 10:00.500 --> 10:03.400 Boy, would I love to go to a hospital and stay overnight. 10:03.500 --> 10:06.400 24 wonderful hours away from my wife. 10:06.500 --> 10:07.400 Some wife. 10:07.500 --> 10:10.400 Ether is better. 10:10.500 --> 10:11.400 That's it. 10:11.500 --> 10:14.400 Gin. 10:14.500 --> 10:15.400 Well, I like my wife. 10:15.500 --> 10:16.400 She's cute. 10:16.500 --> 10:17.400 And I like my tonsils. 10:17.500 --> 10:18.400 They're cute, too. 10:18.500 --> 10:19.400 Silence. 10:19.500 --> 10:20.400 Turn your face this way. 10:20.500 --> 10:21.400 A little more. 10:21.500 --> 10:22.400 I want to tell you something to your face. 10:22.500 --> 10:23.400 You're a coward. 10:23.500 --> 10:25.400 I am not a coward. 10:25.500 --> 10:26.400 Then stop squawking. 10:26.500 --> 10:28.400 If the doctor says you got to do it, you got to do it. 10:28.400 --> 10:30.300 The whole thing will only take a minute. 10:30.400 --> 10:31.300 Only a minute, huh? 10:31.400 --> 10:32.300 Sure. 10:32.400 --> 10:33.300 They put you to sleep. 10:33.400 --> 10:35.300 Then they open your mouth. 10:35.400 --> 10:38.300 They take a very sharp instrument. 10:38.400 --> 10:41.300 Down your throat it goes. 10:41.400 --> 10:42.300 Very delicate. 10:42.400 --> 10:43.300 Slash, slash. 10:43.400 --> 10:44.300 Rip, rip, rip. 10:44.400 --> 10:45.300 Oh. 10:45.400 --> 10:46.300 Yeah. 10:46.400 --> 10:47.300 I knew it. 10:47.400 --> 10:48.300 You're a coward. 10:48.400 --> 10:49.300 It is not delicate. 10:49.400 --> 10:51.300 Now, let me relieve your mind, pal. 10:51.400 --> 10:53.300 You know that Mrs. Bennett on the next block? 10:53.400 --> 10:54.300 My wife sees her in the market. 10:54.400 --> 10:56.300 Well, she had her tonsils taken out. 10:56.300 --> 10:58.200 And the very next day she was given a party. 10:58.300 --> 10:59.200 My wife told me. 10:59.300 --> 11:00.200 The next day. 11:00.300 --> 11:02.200 Sure, you don't have to take my word for it. 11:02.300 --> 11:03.200 Go ask the woman. 11:03.300 --> 11:06.200 And if you need courage, she'll give you plenty of it. 11:06.300 --> 11:08.200 I do not need courage. 11:08.300 --> 11:15.200 It'll be a dark and stormy day before Chester A. Riley has to go to some poor helpless woman for courage. 11:15.300 --> 11:17.200 Somebody's coming. 11:17.300 --> 11:19.200 Now you'll see there's nothing to it. 11:19.300 --> 11:21.200 Not Denise, then. 11:21.300 --> 11:22.200 Yes? 11:22.300 --> 11:23.200 Hello. 11:23.300 --> 11:24.200 Is Mrs. Bennett in? 11:24.300 --> 11:25.200 Who should I say is calling? 11:25.200 --> 11:27.100 Riley. Chester A. Riley. 11:27.200 --> 11:33.100 I live down the street and we found out that Mrs. Bennett was just in the hospital. 11:33.200 --> 11:35.100 And the same thing's going to happen to me. 11:35.200 --> 11:36.100 Oh? 11:36.200 --> 11:39.100 So, well, you know, I thought maybe she could give me some advice. 11:39.200 --> 11:41.100 I'll tell her you're here. Come in, please. 11:44.200 --> 11:46.100 Who's that at the door, Matilda? 11:46.200 --> 11:48.100 It's a Mr. Riley from down the block, ma'am. 11:48.200 --> 11:52.100 He must have heard about you giving birth to the twins and I think he wants a little advice. 11:52.200 --> 11:54.100 I guess his wife is expecting. 11:54.100 --> 11:55.000 I guess so, ma'am. 11:55.100 --> 12:00.000 Well, then you'd better finish feeding the twins. I know how nervous a prospective father can be. 12:02.100 --> 12:04.000 Oh, Mr. Riley! Come on in here. 12:06.100 --> 12:07.000 Hello, Mrs. Bennett. 12:07.100 --> 12:08.000 Hello. 12:08.100 --> 12:09.000 This is my friend, Gillis. 12:09.100 --> 12:10.000 How do you do, ma'am? 12:10.100 --> 12:11.000 How do you do? 12:11.100 --> 12:12.000 Go ahead, Riley. Get it over with. 12:12.100 --> 12:14.000 Oh, do sit down, gentlemen. 12:14.100 --> 12:19.000 Mr. Riley, I realize what a strain you must be going through. 12:19.100 --> 12:23.000 Well, I am a little nervous, but mostly on account of my wife. 12:23.000 --> 12:26.900 Well, naturally. After all, it's your wife's problem, too, isn't it? 12:28.000 --> 12:30.900 Why couldn't this thing have happened when I was single? 12:31.000 --> 12:33.900 Oh, you're retaining your sense of humor. 12:34.000 --> 12:36.900 But now I realize how upset you must be. 12:37.000 --> 12:39.900 But just remember, this sort of thing happens every day. 12:40.000 --> 12:42.900 Now, take my case. I had two of them. 12:43.000 --> 12:45.900 Two of them? Doesn't everybody have two? 12:46.000 --> 12:47.900 Oh, Mr. Riley. 12:47.900 --> 12:52.800 But now that it's all over, my husband and I are so happy. 12:52.900 --> 12:54.800 Would you like to see them? 12:56.900 --> 12:58.800 See them? 12:58.900 --> 13:00.800 You mean you brought them home with you? 13:00.900 --> 13:02.800 Oh, no. 13:02.900 --> 13:06.800 And you know something? I can't tell one from the other. 13:07.900 --> 13:11.800 That don't bother me. I'm leaving mine at the hospital. 13:11.900 --> 13:15.800 Don't say that. Well, you'll love them just like I love mine. 13:15.800 --> 13:20.700 You know, my husband can't wait to get home each night and play with them. 13:21.800 --> 13:23.700 Play with them? 13:25.800 --> 13:27.700 I don't say. 13:27.800 --> 13:30.700 I think I'd better be going. 13:31.800 --> 13:34.700 If you'll come inside, I'll let you hold one. 13:34.800 --> 13:36.700 Can I see a hand? 13:36.800 --> 13:41.700 Oh, you'll need both hands, Mr. Riley. They're quite large, you know. 13:42.800 --> 13:43.700 How large? 13:43.700 --> 13:47.600 How they each weigh seven pounds. 13:47.700 --> 13:51.600 Seven pounds? I don't believe it. 13:51.700 --> 13:55.600 And they eat like little piggies. 13:55.700 --> 13:57.600 I shouldn't have come. 13:57.700 --> 14:03.600 They eat? Mrs. Bennet, what kind of tonsils have you got? They ought to be involved. 14:04.700 --> 14:06.600 What are you talking about? 14:06.700 --> 14:08.600 My tonsils. I've got to have them out. 14:08.700 --> 14:12.600 Tonsils? Oh, I see. 14:12.600 --> 14:16.500 Oh, the maid said, and I saw. 14:16.600 --> 14:19.500 I had my tonsils out a year ago. 14:19.600 --> 14:23.500 I was talking about my two baby girls. I just had twins. 14:23.600 --> 14:24.500 Just had twins? 14:24.600 --> 14:26.500 Yes, twin girls. 14:27.600 --> 14:29.500 Congratulations, ma'am. 14:35.600 --> 14:38.500 Well, there you are. Come on. It's time to get started for the hospital. 14:38.600 --> 14:40.500 I'm coming, Peg. 14:40.500 --> 14:44.400 But before I do, I've got something to say to my family. 14:44.500 --> 14:46.400 Peg, you sit here. 14:46.500 --> 14:48.400 But you'll be late. 14:48.500 --> 14:52.400 Dad, you sit there. And Junior, you sit there. 14:52.500 --> 14:54.400 Say, what's it all about? 14:54.500 --> 14:58.400 I've got something to read to you. It's in this envelope. 14:58.500 --> 15:04.400 It says, Chester A. Riley, his last will and testament. 15:04.500 --> 15:07.400 It'll be read after his funeral. 15:07.500 --> 15:08.400 So now I'll read it. 15:08.400 --> 15:11.300 Riley, will you please stop? This is ridiculous. 15:11.400 --> 15:12.300 Sure, Pop. 15:12.400 --> 15:13.300 You're not going to kick off. 15:13.400 --> 15:15.300 Don't be so pessimistic. 15:15.400 --> 15:17.300 Now listen. 15:17.400 --> 15:19.300 It says... 15:21.400 --> 15:26.300 It says, I, Chester A. Riley, of sound body, 15:26.400 --> 15:31.300 do hereby cut up my entire estate to wit and ergo. 15:31.400 --> 15:35.300 To Peg, my beloved wife, 15:35.300 --> 15:41.200 I leave outright my entire bank account, which has always been in her name. 15:41.300 --> 15:43.200 Also, for the past year, 15:43.300 --> 15:47.200 I have been kind of holding out a certain sum each week from my salary. 15:47.300 --> 15:48.200 Riley! 15:48.300 --> 15:49.200 For emergencies. 15:49.300 --> 15:52.200 I want my dear wife to have this $15, 15:52.300 --> 15:57.200 which you will find in the radio behind the third tube from the left. 15:57.300 --> 15:58.200 Oh, Daddy, please. 15:58.300 --> 16:01.200 Please, Babs, don't interrupt. 16:01.300 --> 16:04.200 To my beloved son and pal, Junior, 16:04.200 --> 16:06.100 I leave my good name. 16:06.200 --> 16:08.100 Is that all? 16:08.200 --> 16:10.100 I'm not finished. 16:10.200 --> 16:14.100 Also, I leave him my shoe trees I got for Christmas, 16:14.200 --> 16:17.100 which he will find in my sneakers. 16:17.200 --> 16:19.100 For my darling daughter, Babs, 16:19.200 --> 16:22.100 who in the years to come won't have her father's protecting hand 16:22.200 --> 16:25.100 to guide her when she goes on dates with boys, 16:25.200 --> 16:27.100 I leave these two words. 16:27.200 --> 16:29.100 Watch out. 16:29.100 --> 16:34.000 Signed, sealed, and delivered, Chester A. Riley. 16:34.100 --> 16:36.000 Those were my last words. 16:36.100 --> 16:37.000 Well, I hope so. 16:37.100 --> 16:39.000 Of all the nonsense I ever heard. 16:39.100 --> 16:41.000 Come on now, let's get started. 16:41.100 --> 16:43.000 All right, babe. 16:43.100 --> 16:48.000 Babs, be a good girl and take care of Junior. 16:48.100 --> 16:52.000 Junior, be a good girl and take care of your sister. 16:52.100 --> 16:54.000 Oh, Pop, you're going to be okay. 16:54.100 --> 16:55.000 Oh, of course, Daddy. 16:55.100 --> 16:56.000 Are you coming? 16:56.100 --> 16:58.000 All right, babe. 16:58.000 --> 17:01.900 But before I go, let me get one last look at my family. 17:02.000 --> 17:02.900 Don't move. 17:03.000 --> 17:04.900 Stay right where you are. 17:05.000 --> 17:08.900 Gee, seeing her like this brings a big lump into my throat. 17:09.000 --> 17:10.900 Those are your tonsils. 17:11.000 --> 17:12.900 Come on, get them out. 17:13.000 --> 17:14.900 Fine. 17:17.000 --> 17:18.900 Nice fans, fans. 17:19.000 --> 17:19.900 Water, water. 17:20.000 --> 17:20.900 Take my pulse. 17:21.000 --> 17:21.900 Take my pulse. 17:22.000 --> 17:23.900 I just took your pulse, Mr. Riley. 17:24.000 --> 17:24.900 It's normal. 17:25.000 --> 17:25.900 Now stop worrying. 17:26.000 --> 17:26.900 You're perfectly normal. 17:26.900 --> 17:27.800 I am not normal. 17:27.900 --> 17:29.800 I know myself better than you do. 17:29.900 --> 17:31.800 Why did I ever come here? 17:31.900 --> 17:33.800 Why did I ever let that doctor look at my tonsils? 17:33.900 --> 17:35.800 I'll never open my big mouth again. 17:35.900 --> 17:36.800 Now try to relax. 17:36.900 --> 17:37.800 Put it the way you act. 17:37.900 --> 17:38.800 You think you were going to dodge. 17:38.900 --> 17:39.800 I like to look ahead. 17:39.900 --> 17:40.800 Where's my late widow? 17:40.900 --> 17:42.800 She should have been back by now. 17:42.900 --> 17:43.800 Go and ask for some lunch. 17:43.900 --> 17:46.800 She'll be here when you get back from the operating theater. 17:46.900 --> 17:47.800 The theater? 17:47.900 --> 17:48.800 There's nothing going. 17:48.900 --> 17:50.800 Nobody's selling tickets to look at me. 17:50.900 --> 17:52.800 I think, Paul, the surgery room. 17:52.900 --> 17:54.800 Now I'd better get you ready for the surgery. 17:54.800 --> 17:57.700 The surgery room? Now I'd better get you ready. 17:57.800 --> 17:59.700 You mean my time has come? 17:59.800 --> 18:01.700 I'm going to give you something for your nerves. 18:01.800 --> 18:02.700 You'll feel better. 18:02.800 --> 18:05.700 You mean you're going to stab me with that dagger? 18:05.800 --> 18:08.700 Just a hypodermic needle and it won't hurt a bit. 18:08.800 --> 18:10.700 Now just turn your head and it'll be over before you know it. 18:10.800 --> 18:11.700 They're murderers. 18:11.800 --> 18:12.700 How can they be murderers? 18:12.800 --> 18:16.700 Now close your eyes. 18:16.800 --> 18:18.700 Ow! Ow! Ow! 18:18.800 --> 18:20.700 My arm! My arm! 18:20.800 --> 18:21.700 Get back in bed. 18:21.700 --> 18:28.600 All I did was swab your arm with alcohol. 18:28.700 --> 18:34.600 Now lie still. 18:34.700 --> 18:36.600 Well, why don't you do it? Get it over with! 18:36.700 --> 18:38.600 It's all done, Mr. Riley. 18:38.700 --> 18:40.600 I told you it wouldn't hurt. 18:40.700 --> 18:42.600 Oh. 18:42.700 --> 18:44.600 I guess it was a dull needle. 18:44.700 --> 18:45.600 Now try to relax. 18:45.700 --> 18:48.600 The orderlies will come and get you with a stretcher in a few minutes. 18:48.700 --> 18:50.600 Where's my late widow and my children? 18:50.600 --> 18:52.500 They're waiting in the green room. 18:52.600 --> 18:54.500 Now try to go to sleep. 18:54.600 --> 18:55.500 Sleep? 18:55.600 --> 18:56.500 Not me. 18:56.600 --> 19:00.500 I'm staying awake to make sure that doctor knows what he's doing. 19:00.600 --> 19:06.500 I'm not taking any chances. 19:06.600 --> 19:08.500 Polaris, please give this to the supervisor. 19:08.600 --> 19:09.500 Yes, Dr. Harvey. 19:09.600 --> 19:11.500 And are you ready for Mr. Riley? 19:11.600 --> 19:12.500 Riley? 19:12.600 --> 19:13.500 Yes, this case here. 19:13.600 --> 19:14.500 He's asleep. 19:14.600 --> 19:15.500 Oh, yes. 19:15.600 --> 19:16.500 It's on selectomy. 19:16.600 --> 19:19.500 Well, I have a serious emergency that just came in. 19:19.500 --> 19:22.400 I won't be able to get to Mr. Riley until sometime this afternoon. 19:22.500 --> 19:23.400 You'd better take him back to his room. 19:23.500 --> 19:28.400 Yes, doctor. 19:28.500 --> 19:29.400 Hey, Mom. 19:29.500 --> 19:31.400 Mom. 19:31.500 --> 19:33.400 I just saw Neil pop into his room. 19:33.500 --> 19:35.400 Then the operation must be over. 19:35.500 --> 19:37.400 Tell me what's going on. 19:37.500 --> 19:38.400 Well, I hope Daddy's all right. 19:38.500 --> 19:39.400 Shh. 19:39.500 --> 19:45.400 Let's go in. 19:45.500 --> 19:46.400 Poor thing's still asleep. 19:46.500 --> 19:47.400 It's the anesthetic. 19:47.400 --> 19:49.300 I get to take the dope quality off. 19:49.400 --> 19:50.300 Where's the nurse? 19:50.400 --> 19:52.300 He shouldn't be left alone after an operation. 19:52.400 --> 19:53.300 All right, killers. 19:53.400 --> 19:54.300 It's my turn. 19:54.400 --> 19:55.300 I'm coming, too. 19:55.400 --> 19:57.300 Riley, dear, it's me, Peg. 19:57.400 --> 19:58.300 Where am I? 19:58.400 --> 19:59.300 You're back in your room. 19:59.400 --> 20:01.300 The operation's all over. 20:01.400 --> 20:03.300 It's all over? 20:03.400 --> 20:04.300 Yes. 20:04.400 --> 20:05.300 How do you feel? 20:05.400 --> 20:08.300 Oh, my throat. 20:08.400 --> 20:09.300 Oh, it's agony. 20:09.400 --> 20:11.300 But I can take it. 20:11.400 --> 20:12.300 Oh, the pain. 20:12.400 --> 20:14.300 We'd better call the doctor. 20:14.400 --> 20:15.300 No, don't call him. 20:15.300 --> 20:18.200 I'd rather suffer in silence. 20:18.300 --> 20:20.200 Oh, the pain. 20:20.300 --> 20:21.200 Oh, dear. 20:21.300 --> 20:22.200 Take a sip of water. 20:22.300 --> 20:24.200 I can't swallow. 20:24.300 --> 20:25.200 Come on, I'm right. 20:25.300 --> 20:26.200 Be brave. 20:26.300 --> 20:27.200 It might help you. 20:27.300 --> 20:28.200 OK. 20:28.300 --> 20:30.200 Oh. 20:30.300 --> 20:31.200 Did it hurt? 20:31.300 --> 20:33.200 Oh. 20:33.300 --> 20:34.200 Oh, the pain. 20:34.300 --> 20:36.200 It's excruciating. 20:36.300 --> 20:37.200 Take another sip. 20:37.300 --> 20:38.200 Come on. 20:38.200 --> 20:46.100 Come on. 20:46.200 --> 20:47.100 Hey, that didn't hurt at all. 20:47.200 --> 20:49.100 Hey, don't sound so hoarse here. 20:49.200 --> 20:51.100 Oh, you sound more like yourself, Daddy. 20:51.200 --> 20:53.100 I feel fine. 20:53.200 --> 20:56.100 I tell you, Peg, that modern surgery is wonderful. 20:56.200 --> 20:57.100 Oh, I'm so glad you came through it all right. 20:57.200 --> 20:59.100 And you were worrying over nothing. 20:59.200 --> 21:01.100 Oh, it's wonderful, but I don't understand how. 21:01.200 --> 21:02.100 About the will. 21:02.200 --> 21:04.100 I was only kidding about that $15. 21:04.200 --> 21:06.100 There's no $15 behind the radio. 21:06.200 --> 21:07.100 There isn't now. 21:07.100 --> 21:10.000 It's right here in my bag. 21:10.100 --> 21:11.000 Hello, Riley. 21:11.100 --> 21:12.000 Oh, hiya, Doc. 21:12.100 --> 21:13.000 How are you feeling? 21:13.100 --> 21:14.000 I feel great. 21:14.100 --> 21:16.000 Doc, you certainly know your business all right. 21:16.100 --> 21:17.000 Thank you. 21:17.100 --> 21:18.000 I feel good enough to go home. 21:18.100 --> 21:20.000 Well, that's fine. 21:20.100 --> 21:21.000 I'll send a stretcher right in. 21:21.100 --> 21:24.000 Oh, I don't need no stretcher to get to the bus. 21:24.100 --> 21:26.000 Riley, you're certainly a card. 21:26.100 --> 21:27.000 Yeah. 21:27.100 --> 21:28.000 But don't worry. 21:28.100 --> 21:32.000 I'll have you out of that operating room in no time. 21:32.100 --> 21:33.000 What operating room? 21:33.100 --> 21:36.000 I thought the operation was over. 21:36.000 --> 21:37.900 I certainly wish it were. 21:38.000 --> 21:40.900 I'm so tired I can't see straight. 21:41.000 --> 21:46.900 Do you mean that I worked enough that I could insist that I've still got him? 21:47.000 --> 21:47.900 Let me out! 21:48.000 --> 21:48.900 I want out! 21:49.000 --> 21:49.900 Let me out! 21:50.000 --> 21:50.900 Let me out! 21:51.000 --> 21:51.900 No! 21:52.000 --> 21:52.900 Let me out! 21:53.000 --> 21:53.900 Let me out!